Wow what a way to start the year. There were news reports stating that because of the wintry storm, bringing cold temperatures to Florida, the Iguanas, cold blooded animals, got so cold that they were getting stiff and unable to move and were falling from the trees. K-plunk. Most of them are not dead, just really really cold. Unaccustomed as they are to freezing temperatures they have no real coping measures. K-plunk
None of us wants to be so out of our elements that we freeze up and fall out of our trees. But, to be really honest, it feels like we are like that sometimes when confronted/challenged by something so new we have no frame of reference.
In one of my favorite movies, Moonlight and Valentino, a young woman learns of the death of her husband and everything slows down and time warps and she reels from the unrealness of it for herself. I saw this movie not long after my Mother died and could completely identify with that feeling of grief hitting. I felt like I was spinning, time stood still, the world around me was just out there, not a real part of me. I was seeing myself like I was in a movie. The feeling of Not-me-ness was happening around me was real. Even though my Mother’s passing was anticipated, it was still a surprise. It was a feeling so odd that you could say it was like Iguanas were falling out of trees.
Grief, loss, deep sadness takes us out of ourselves. Not that we disassociate with what is happening….it is that we are surprised to a point that we are thrown into a whole spin of what is happening.
And then…. then… then… the rest of the world seems to be getting back to it’s normal and your world is anything but normal, not when you lose someone close to you. It’s not the same. It never will be. It will be ok again, but never the same and we are encouraged to be gentle with ourselves. We will not be the same, but we can be alright. But we need not rush ourselves into that place. It takes different time for different people. Wait for it.
January 8, 2018
The Spirit Will Tell You 