When my mother died I took a few weeks away from being the pastor of the church and John, my husband and co-pastor, was there for the People. I went back to work and about a month after she died. A lady came up and in all seriousness said, “Well, it’s been a month since your Mom died, I guess you are about over it by now.“. It was not so much a question as a declaration. Times up, move on.
I remember trying to formulate a response. I had none. I remember looking at her, I can only hope with marked incredulity, “WHAT? Over? No, not over.” Was I expected to have some magical powers as clergy to just bounce back from the loss? Was my ‘overness’ supposed to prove my faithfulness? I don’t know. What I do know is that 20 years later I still feel the sting of those words.
Since then in moving and breakage I’ve lost some of the treasures that link me with her, a rocker, a brass flower pot, a set of Desert Rose dishes, and a clear red vase.
Moved from my ‘having’ to ‘have lost’ along with her.
But I am pretty sure that when I miss her most is when I want to share joyful moments in my life. My children, their spouses, my grandchildren all bring me joy. I want to tell her about Marshall, and Nolan, and Gregory. I want to tell her about Maggie Mae and IanMaurice. Look at these photos!
But it is now left to me to hold those memories. In that I find joy.
So then there is this one article this makes a lot of sense and deeply touches me.
The Spirit Will Tell You 