The Spirit Will Tell You

Bobbie Giltz McGarey
April 5, 2009 at 3:41 AM

Holy Week

we are wholly – weak
Filled so full with grace -healed -hearts
and lives filled with busy
(a four letter life-word of many)
and contrasted
to the empty-ness
of the tomb
which itself was so full
of the love of God
it could do nothing less
than break open.

give us heart-room to be so filled
with the love of God
that it will spill over
and our lives burst with joy
Easter morning comes
again again again
again again
joy to the world….
Jesus lives.

Yes, I am an only child. Still, even still when I’m 72. But growing up and even now I am blessed with cousins who are as dear to me as any siblings. We have our memories of childhood we share. We have our growing up pains and awkwardness. We have our losses of parents. We have our good times.

One set of cousins that I lost track of I’ve found again. Well they found me and reached out to me and we have reconnected. We missed a good deal of our in between life experiences, but we have shared some of those. We have shared memories of our parents, what I remember about theirs and they remember about mine. I have learned about our shared grandparents and their struggles and their triumphs. I have discovered things about an Uncle I never knew. I learned how my grandmother Grace when informed of his death turned and had a heart attack. A true broken heart.

But what is it? It is a blood thing. It is connecting on levels that somehow just now seem so important. When I first came back together with Susan I saw her standing outside waiting/waving to me. And I saw her mother … As surely as could be. It was wonderful. She’s not met my kids and I’ve not met hers yet but we share stories.

And in this current time when things are locked down with a virus threatening at the door, it seems they are ever more important. Somehow it is connections.

Oh it’s true I did marry into a family with 6 kids. My husband, John is the second oldest. I know I chose that as a part of what I wanted…someone with an extended family, well yes. And I am so blessed to feel loved and siblinged.*new word. But we’ve been together almost 50 years so that’s pretty related. And my children have cousins and their children have cousins. It is a good time.

So, I am blessed with cousins. With family. I have others outside the blood line who are dear to me as well. There are several who call me momma whom I’ve never met, nor are likely to ever meet. I have women ask if I will be a mother to them. I have always said yes.

I wish you connection, and love, and the support and challenges that it brings. I want to get together with my family and hug each one of them. That won’t be happening for a while. And that has got to be alright.

Still I am blessed, and I love you, dear cousins. Bobbie Giltz McGarey April 8, 2020

Full moon fills the sky

Casting shadows where trees stand

I wake in the Light

I think these times feel like this…like we are living in an uncertain in between. You know that place where you are not where you were a short time ago and where you will land in the Ahead Time is not clear either. BETWEEN OK AND OH MY GOD! Literally.

One year when I was a junior counselor at Camp Akita a group of us had a campfire down by the lake. On the other side of the lake. As it happened none of us had brought a flashlight to get us back down the path on our way home. It was not a path used often so there were some turns in it but we weren’t really worried about getting lost we just wanted to get back. As we were going along the guy in the front, Jim Duffy was leading and going at a fairly good pace. We all had hands on the shoulder of the person ahead of us. Someone told Jim to slow down. He said, Then you tell Bobbie to slow down, I’m following her white Tennis shoes. I said, Jim…. I’m behind you. I was about four people back. He stopped. What? he said? What? But I’m following your white shoes. We counted heads and all of us were behind him.

Jim, we said, we are ALL back behind you. Jim didn’t move. “But, but, but, I was following Bobbie’s shoes.”

Now none of us could explain what it was that Jim clearly saw that he was following. He said the next morning he promised he saw footsteps ahead and that is why he was moving so fast. He knew it would be alright. And it was alright.

The why or how or what of that we never knew. We felt like we were in some uncertain inbetween. Between what we could explain and what we could not ever explain.

So in these days we want something to follow to walk us through. We want to know that the road ahead is clear and that we won’t stumble or fall or walk into a tree. But where do we find peace in this uncertain inbetween?

In the places where truth and hope abide. In the places that bring God’s presence to our understanding. In the words we remember from parents or grandparents, or dear phrases from small children. (Mommy has a baby in her tummy? How did it get there?).

Friends do rely on the strength of your friends. Be the guide for others through the inbetween. In the Valley of the Shadow be a guide. Follow the path ahead. And may your way be clear.

God abides, and I thank God

Bobbie Giltz McGarey

Ian Maurice Metzgar’s 2nd Birthday

@Scottsdale AZ 04/01/2020

From Scottsdale. March 22, 2020

So I’m in Scottsdale with Mom and we are doing well. We are amazed by the rains we’ve had here. Some rains real soaking long days of rain. I looked out and saw her statue/bird feeder and loved the way the colors stood out in the downpour. When I first moved here in 1971 I kept waiting for a rainy day to do some errands. The rainy day didn’t come all of January.

I grew up in Ohio where we had a long grey winter and early spring. That was not the case in AZ or really in any of the western states we’ve lived in. Even when it was really cold in Utah we would have sun for some part of most any day. In Ohio it was as if we didn’t see the sun or blue sky for so long.

In these present days I think we all long for the sun and the blue sky. What if we watched videos of the ocean or videos of the open sky with clouds just moving gently? I think we might feel better than if we watch the constant news.

Now, don’t get the wrong impression. I think we need to know what’s happening in the world especially in this time of pandemic. But I also think that we could stand to have a blue sky network. We could have an ocean beach network. We could have a mountain network. We could have a desert network.

I am pleased to see that many different museums are putting much of their collections online so that people from all over the globe can see the masterpieces. The National Parks have livecameras looking out over the landscape. There is a live camera trained on an eagle nest.

There is so much to see out there, inside.

What do we do with this time of being inside. I am rereading some favorite books, Franny and Zooey among others. New books too, Thanks Kindle.

Look outside. Not only the physical outside but into your heart

God abides,

And I thank God.

Bobbie G. McGarey

@2020

My granddaddy had severe rheumatoid arthritis that limited his activity. He and my grandmother would watch their “stories” after lunch. As the World Turns was one of their favorite stories. When we visited I watched with them. 60 years ago these stories were mild in content and a kiss was rather risqué, different from the past 20 years or so. My watching it as a child never was an issue. The opening was simple…”And now for the next 30 minutes, AS THE WORLD TURNS”

3/13/2020 Rachel Maddox told how her world was turned, how things shifted for her as she attended a conference in Vancouver when she was in her 20s. My mind took me from there to thinking about how the world just now seems like it’s turning in a whole new way. Like there was a huge tilt in the axis, like North has moved, Like we have stepped into a new age. Cue music “ this is the dawning of the age of Aquarius”

Has it? We hear constantly about COVID-19 and it’s spreading danger and how we are all at risk. My world has been shifted because i am in the Elderly Population at 72. I feel more vulnerable. It feels like the birthday card I gave my husband John when he turned 40, You can run but you cannot hide. I suppose the reality is that we need to reconcile ourselves that eventually we will get this, we just pray it is a mild case,. That those little “viral crowns” don’t sneak into our lungs and multiply in mass and stop the lungs from functioning, i.e. kill us.

Sure as heck i am anxious. I am anxious for me and my whole family and friends I am afraid for anyone who gets this. Someone said it feels like you are going sky diving for the first time and there is nothing you can do to change your mind. So now what, AS THE WORLD TURNS? We accept that the world has turned. We accept that the way things are done globally have changed. We wait with horror considering what may happen in parts of the world where there is no remedy or health care.

Perhaps we should be focusing on the We of this world rather than on the me . Perhaps we should be using our considerable collective brainpower to make sure no one is left behind in these times. Perhaps we recognize no wall could repel nature’s warped fury. Perhaps we realize like a song my husband wrote, “We all go together or we don’t go at all.” And is that so bad? I rather think that it could be for the very good of all. Yet we rush to the grocery store to overstock on toilet paper like they were gold bars, (Apparently we also are sticking up I water and bananas though those to would be a whole new story.)

Yes, friends, As the World Turns is a good way to look at these times. Now, here and now, Be Here Now, all pertain to our lives. My granddaughter age 4 , Maggie Mae once started her day saying, IT IS THIS DAY”

Just where did all this fear come from? I think it has been building for the past 21 years or so at 1999-2000 when the end times were predicted. There seemed to be a concerted effort to make people fearful and then offer them, at a price $ of course, a solution to that fear, The Other became a real frightful thing/ person.

So the, how do we live in these uncharted times. We live in the sure and certain knowledge that we have power we have not begun to use. Power to empower the Scientists and Researchers to do their work. We empower the necessary funding for such endeavor. We empower ourselves to take precautionary measures to minimize the damage done. We hope. We pray. We listen. We know. We wait.

Like the Psalmist wrote in the 27th Psalm, I believe that I shall see the goodness of God in the land of the living.

God abides- in these days-as the world turns-It is this day

Bobbie Giltz McGarey

@03/14/2020 In Scottsdale AZ

“

Our daughter Martha said bedtime with her daughter, our 4 year old granddaughter got serious tonight. Almost asleep she said, “mommy does it hurt to grow up? “

What do you say to someone so tender of age? How do you explain the truth? No? So the when something hurts her because her favorite kitten dies or a family member, that hurts. So Yes, some things do hurt but in the greater story of her life we believe the good will outweigh the sad. But what do you say?

Do you begin to contemplate or recall a time of great joy or pain. So,done you care about says they never cared? That can still hurt. But what about those who still love you, how do you account for that.

I heard these questions as I prepared to go into the Ash Wednesday service. How do we account for that clear recalling of our mortality.

Dust thou art and to dust thou shall return.

What answers are we given as children of God?

Let me know how you answer a 4 year old.

God Abide

Bobbie G.McGarey

@2020

Ash Wednesday

I just read an article about a car pileup in Canada with over 200 cars. Report said it had to do with terrible conditions, whiteout with blowing snow.

When we lied in norther Utah we were traveling from Brigham City to Logan through the canyon, It was about 8 pm and really snowing but not too bad, until we got into the canyon, We were the first in a line of about 7 cars and going along at a safe pace when the blowing snow increased. The flakes were big and super reflective. We all slowed down, it was a narrow part of the canyon before Mantua. The snow really hit. But it wasn’t just the snow, it was the blowing snow. And it wasn’t just the blowing snow it was the fast swirling blowing snow. It was difficult to tell which way was up. Seriously. I knew to have low beams on and my daughter could see the guard rails on the right and knew if we started toward them. The road was indistinguishable from the sky. We slowed even more. There was no stripping with the cars behind me and because Thee was no place to pull over we kept creeping along, It was really frightening,

Then, for some reason, a car that was coming joe from behind decided to pass safe traveling cars at speed. Of course his ongoing by kicked up more snow and how or if he could see anything was doubtful. I said bad words. Because I don’t care if he was unsafe himself. But he put all of us in the same peril. Who knew if he’d spun Out and would be blocking t.he road ahead. We ent along with now another possible hazard.

We got to Mantua and the snow abated, the swirling stopped and the rest of the way through the canyon was without drama, But I’ve always thought about how selfish it was of this driver to put us all in such a vulnerable situation.

We need to take care of each other y’all. In every part of life and the role we are in, because we are all IN this together,

God abide

@2/18/2020

Scottsdale AZ

Bobbie Giltz McGarey

The other day a friend gave me a book of Mandela like drawings and they are for coloring.  I’ve done that online on an app and liked filling in the lines.  I enjoyed it on line because if I made a bad choice of color placement a tap on the screen changed it.  But on the written page once I put a  color on-it is on.  No going back.  I saw a meme with a Mandela with some colors filled in and then great red streaks scribbled all over it.  The title said, “ My effort to relax by coloring.”

I’ve often had artists around me and have  compared my scribblings to theirs.  I’ve compared my composition to theirs.  Often become suddenly less satisfied with something I liked a few moments before.

Years ago I took a friendly class in pastels at church.  I had fun.  I promised myself I would not judge myself and just be present to the process.   We would have our easels and I’d try to set up toward the front. Why? Because I would do my work without looking around and comparing.  It worked for me.  But, alas, it didn’t work for a woman who stood behind me.  She was ultra judging of her work and others around her.   I discovered this as she once saw me stop with my drawing as the teacher told us to copy.  I heard her say, “You can’t possibly be satisfied with THAT!”
Yup, she was talking to me.   I turned and said, “Well, Surprise I am!”   She only came to one more class.  Not because of my failing (in her mind), but because she couldn’t live up to what she thought she should do herself.

I currently live in NM and visit Ghost Ranch where Georgia O’keeffe painted.  When I get there I have this overwhelming desire to draw or sketch.  The mesas are beautiful.  I have sketched there.  I use the medium of photography to capture what I see.  This works for me. I can manipulate and change the images after when I may see a tiny part of the magnificent whole.

That is art.  That is my art. Oh, I still dabble with my pastels and use gel pens on the coloring book pages and I try not to judge.

I suppose what makes it beautiful is the perception in the eye of the beholder.  Sigh. I like that.

Am I a sketch in God’s notebook? Perhaps.  In this statement I thank God for Grace and Mercy.

God Abides, that is Good News!
Bobbie Giltz McGarey

01/27/2020,
Raton, New Mexico 

Psalm 27 has a line that really has become a mantra for me,

“I believe that I shall see the goodness of God in the land of the living.”

This line can bring hope in the midst of those days that seem otherwise to be tops turvy:  People not talking to each other, The worlds troubles piling up,  Friends in the midst of turmoil without a safety net. Family members discouraged and in pain, inflated narcissism shading everyone else out I’d the light.

Repeat 3x  this promise to you from God
“I believe that I shall see the goodness of God in the land of the living.”

god abide

bobbie mcgarey